"I think.. keeping yourself from thinking about it only makes it worse," Kurt replies slowly, reaching over to bury his fingertips in Hazel's warm belly fur.

"I've seen possibilities about my own life. Versions of myself from other universes, where I've made different choices, or lived with different circumstances." Hazel wriggles out from under his hand; Kurt flips his tail over, letting him chase the pointed tip back and forth. "Some of them are good -- my daughter, who I told you about, she's from one of those universes, her father was a version of me who.. was more fortunate, in some ways. Her parents were together for a long time, happily married. It was hard, for a little while, to not feel resentful of that. To not wish for that for myself, especially when I got to know T.J. and realised I could.. never be her father, not really."

He glances over at Fern. "But I had to let myself experience that. For a time I thought it was best to repress these thoughts and emotions, to try to live without letting that guilt and shame in. But all it did was drive me towards something that ended up hurting me. So now.." He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "I have to accept it."